My View of Life - Never Better!

God our Father, Loves us Individually

I'm a real simple fellow.  If I have the latitude I prefer to keep things simple stupid.  I like Newton's laws of motion--for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.  I also desire my efforts to be channeled toward things with real meaning, and that will last the tests of time.

So I turn to eternal truth which will not dim with age, but rather continue to bless me and my posterity forever.  I've read scripture most of my life.  I started meaningful study as a teen-ager.  Shortly after I moved to Idaho Falls, I deepened my path of introspection.  Maybe it was a mid-life crisis because I was in my early 40s.  In any rate, I began a quest to be a better husband and father, be a better nurse, and increase my faith and commitment to Heavenly Father.

I read about Solomon in the Old Testament.  He was blessed with an understanding heart and great wealth.  All he did was recognize he was young and inexperienced so he asked his Father in Heaven for help.  I also love the passage of scripture in James 1:5.  "If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and apbraideth not; and it shall be given him."

I'm just simple enough to figure, well, I'll just pray for an understanding heart and a few other things, and Father will bless me as he did Solomon.  I did so.  I stepped it up for more than a year.  The only problem was that I began to get sick.  It became difficult to walk, and I couldn't move my left shoulder.  Soon, my knees, ankles, hands, and back stiffened and would cause excruciating pain with any movement.  I got so I could barely drive.  I was in trouble.  It took 6 months to get to the rheumatologist who diagnosed me with rheumatoid arthritis.  However, it was a turning point in my life.  I'd given up all sports, and just figured this was my new life, but the medication began reversing my symptoms.  It was a three year battle, but I was winning.  I was starting to take up a few of my favorite activities again.

At this point I began feeling I wasn't worthy of an answer.  But, as with any illness or struggle I stepped up my earnest prayers and effort, knowing that God would, in his time, answer my prayers as he did Solomon and Paul. 

In spite of my efforts, this time an even worse situation arouse--cancer.  Along with it came numerous doctor's exams, needle sticks, CTs, MRI, ultrasound, and other tests.  I sickened with radiation poisoning.  I threw up constantly during the radiation treatment, became very dehydrated and weak, and my immune system was shot.  My resting heart rate jumped from 68 to well over a hundred, and my resting respiratory rate jumped from 14 to 25. 

My symptoms and follow-up care didn't stop for a good while afterward.  Needless to say, the care giver had become the patient.  But a remarkable change was occurring in my life.  It was so gradual I didn't detect it at first. I noticed how deeply grateful I was for my wife, who had supported me through the whole ordeal with her whole heart.  I found I was deeply in love with her and recognized how I cherished her.  I found more love and appreciation, if that were possible, for my children.  My work took on a whole new meaning.  Instead of giving the care to my patients in a rhythmic, robotic fashion, I personified real understanding, empathy, and love.  I immediately loved my patients regardless if I'd ever met them before, and regardless whether our personalities blended.  It was a miracle!  The recognition of my answered prayers swept over me like a wave of the sea. 

The cancer is now in remission, and the arthritis, though still very bothersome, doesn't slow me down from too many of the activities I enjoy.  I still have mountains of improvement in so many aspects of this earthly sojourn, but as you may have guessed, I haven't prayed so fervently for these qualities as I did before.  Heaven knows, if I kept praying I'd probably become a quadriplegic or something--just kidding.

But I am grateful for the growth I have received.  Truly, having the debilitating illness of rheumatoid arthritis, and life threatening cancer have been tremendous blessings in my life.  Again, you can probably see, that I learned that our Father in Heaven doesn't answer everyone's prayers in the same way.  I'll just have to be more specific in how I want the prayers answered next time.  Actually, I'm grateful that Father granted me my requests in the way he did.  I learned so much, and just look at Solomon.  He didn't turn out too good.  I think I'll just be happy that Father in Heaven loves and blesses each of us kids individually.  I'm going to just go on being--NEVER BETTER.