My View of Life - Never Better!

My Ten Year Anniversary

            No, it's not my wedding anniversary. In April I will have been married to my Angel for 34 years. It's the anniversary of receiving word that I had cancer. Today I reviewed from one of my 14 journals, my feelings of that day.

I underwent surgery nine days before Thanksgiving 2006. I was told the tumor was suspicious but it still was possible it wasn't cancer, and I'd receive the news in a few days. I banked night and day on the thought of no cancer. I prayed almost constantly.

            Three days went by, four, six, nine, still no word. It was Thanksgiving Day. We ate at the new Chuck a rama. I noticed Lisa was a little reserved, but it was a great meal, and best of all--no clean up! I was totally unaware that Lisa had bumped into the surgeon on her shift at the hospital and received the unwelcome news.

            When we got home Lisa informed me of the surgeon's findings--cancer. It hit like a lead balloon. "Did he say how long I have?" I asked.

            "No, just to be ready for all kinds of tests to see where it's spread, and get ready for treatment." 

            We walked into the dining room where three of my children were sitting at the table--all of them tearful. Lisa had just informed them as well. I remember looking at them and thinking that I so wanted to live to see them raised. My youngest was 12. I looked at my wife who finally broke down crying after keeping it inside all day. I couldn't bear to leave her. I'd lived half my life at that point with her. The first half I had love and guidance from my parents and older siblings, but I floundered much of it, but with her I had power at my side--focus, direction, courage, fulfillment, accomplishment, and on and on were the blessings in my life because of her. How could I do this to her? She'd done nothing but put me before her, always giving, loving and supporting. At that moment, the likelihood of dying was more than I could bear.

            I retired to my room to focus. I prayed awhile, pondered, and wrote in my journal. I thought of the novel I'd just began to write. It would never be completed. But my thoughts settled on me. What could I do for my family? With the little information I had I came to the only conclusion I could. I'd just do my best through it all. I remembered the story of the young man in the car accident. A star high school football player with the world at his fingertips--now a quadriplegic. Weeks later after numerous tests and treatment it was concluded that he'd never walk again. His dad heard him crying in his bedroom. His boy had been strong up until then, but at last his new life must have overcome him. But as his dad approached his room to console him he was shocked.

            "Thank thee, Heavenly Father,"he sobbed. "These experiences that are now mine could not have come to pass any other way. I thank thee for this opportunity. Please help me do my best."

            On that Thanksgiving Day 10 years ago, I had no idea of my future. For all I knew I had months to live. I returned to my knees. I made my choice. I, like the football player, would do my very best with the little time I had left. I'd try to be ready to go home.