My View of Life - Never Better!

My Final Act

In my recently completed novel, I wrote of a woman. Her body lay in bed, emaciated from the effects of cancer, and writhing in pain. She would soon be bidding her mortal life farewell. But on this night, she would accept no morphine. She would remain lucid and awake for her daughter's birthday. She'd attend church, and partake of the sacred emblems of the sacrament one last time. Then she'd allow the morphine to be given, and she'd slip into peaceful oblivion, never to form a coherent sentence in this life again.
Here is a brief part of my novel of how this valiant woman survived the night.

Sleep would not come for Martha Griffin. The pain from her shoulders to her hips gripped her like a vise--ever tightening--ever squeezing. She had nowhere else to turn. Her life had played its whole hand. She'd embraced the entire realm of mortal life's experience--the good and bad, the happy and sad, the health and sickness, the pleasures and pains, the triumphs and failures; and now, this last day, was her final act. Her final undertaking of how she wished to conclude her presence on earth. She chose, (she'd made the choice long ago) to continue to point her whole soul, everything she was, to the God who gave her life.
She lay there in her bed, her husband of 17 years breathing softly beside her, praying that God would send her help. Just 12 more hours. And she did receive strength. It came as she basked in the realms of her Father in Heaven. For who is God if he's not eternal? What is life if she couldn't discover who she really was? A daughter of God! Was not this life on earth just a small step in her eternal path?
The minutes and seconds clicked by. The pain decreased as the answers poured through her mind. It was the Spirit of God. It had confirmed to her heart and to her mind countless times through her life of who she was, and the path that would lead her to fulfillment and happiness. A path that would be a blessing to those around her--a path that would make her strong as to the eternal things of God. A path that would grant her hope. She had accepted God's invitation! It was the one thing she could give back with all her heart, might, mind, and strength--her will!
And now, the panorama of God's wonders burst upon her. No one, not even she, had a clue of what God had in store for her--what he'd make of her. The perception of her current state, a dying woman in pain and agony fled, and was replaced by a scene of exquisite joy and peace. She had looked at her ordeal backwards! Her physical suffering would be but a small moment. She had a loving God her Father building, strengthening; and spreading new experience, knowledge, and goodness. His very person of who he really is began to rain upon her. She tried to describe it--love, charity, joy, kindness, grace, mercy, in degrees far beyond her comprehension. All she could do is call out, silently though it was in her heart and mind, "Oh, God, I would give everything I am, everything I could ever hope to be to continue to feel what I feel at this moment"
Her thoughts shifted to the gift her father was willing to send her. She rehearsed in her mind her favorite scripture in John 3:16. "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life." There was no further pain! She basked in the good news, the good tidings of great joy which was for ALL people--a Savior! Now the hours clicked on. Martha Griffin made it through the night.

I wrote that encounter with The Lord in my novel because I first experienced it. I wasn't ill to the degree Martha was. My prognosis was good. But the occurrence was the same. During my struggle with cancer, I lay suffering from the effects of radiation, and Heavenly Father granted me that sacred event.
From that moment, I began seeing our mortal sojourn in a different light. It's not a tragedy that I have cancer. It's one of the greatest blessings of my life. Martha figured out she too was looking at her experience backwards. She had made the effort through a life of prayer, scripture study, pondering the truths, and applying them in her life that she might be worthy of the Spirit of God. Thus she was able to discern his wondrous love, mercy, and blessings he would rain down upon her forever.
I admit I struggle when I witness the loss of a young mother, or a child. I find myself wondering of the reasoning of a Loving Heavenly Father. But my testimony is strong. As Paul said, speaking to the Corinthians: the things of the Spirit of God are foolishness unto him: (the natural man) neither can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned. I know and have tasted of this spirit of God, and have no doubt of his care and concern for these young mothers and small children, and their families left behind.
Martha, as with all of us, had just one thing she could give back to the Lord--her will! Her will to accept his plan, and come unto him. She recognized she'd done that long ago. I too made an about face. I saw people differently. Each time I went to the cancer center, I was in awe at the people that surrounded me. Some of them were in rough shape. As I waited for my turn with the linear accelerator, which powerful blasts of radiation would kill each of us except it's rays were precisely placed, I asked a woman how she was doing. She beamed from ear to ear and said, "I'm so happy. I lifted my arm this much today. I couldn't do that yesterday." I later found she likely had just a short while left on earth. But she beamed from ear to ear none the less.
I began talking to a number of other cancer patients. Without exception they were grateful for the life they'd been given--even with all its trials and suffering. The immortal phrase spoken by a multitude of the heavenly hosts at the birth of our Savior rang true, (and on earth, PEACE, good will toward men.) And those good tidings are available to all people.
I learned much from these simple people who were struggling with their final tests of life. I would go home and lie in bed or kneel in prayer, contemplating their hearts. I found that the greatest battles of life, the deepest yearnings of the heart, the most profound joy and happiness, and the utmost triumphs and successes can take place in one's own home where they sit and contemplate their purpose as Children of God, as they read the holy scriptures, as they kneel in prayer, or simply lie in bed.
When it comes to the end. When you know you have just hours left, unless you've went to great lengths to close off the Spirit of God from within you, surly, your heart and mind will turn to him who gave you life. The scripture: for God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son. Is this just a passive gesture passed over by billions? Surely it's at least an effort to throw us a lifeline--a means whereby he can sit back and observe our efforts. No! Not at all! It's our Father providing us the way home! He sent his Son! He's always there, always nurturing, always lifting, always...improving us. He's not just out there somewhere. Though his expanse spans worlds without number, he's still right there, next to you, at your side, every moment of everyday.
I love people. I don't care who they are. They are children of Almighty God. Yes, many have gone astray. Some waste away their lives. But, in my profession, I have an opportunity to let them know I love them, and care about them. Maybe this small gesture along with the assistance of modern healthcare, I, and all my friends that have the same opportunity, can make a difference in their lives, and bring a little ray of sunshine to a dismal day.
I'm forever grateful for the challenges of my life. They've molded me, shaped me, and improved me. They've helped me see and learn and grow. Though I still feel I'm far behind most people, it doesn't matter. My conscience is free. I feel good. I feel...NEVER BETTER.